I have thoughts part 4

Whenever someone tells me that they're not book smart, they're street smart, what I always hear is "I'm not real smart, I'm imaginary smart"

It is impossible to run with a backpack and not look like a douchebag

I have thoughts part 3

I haven't shit my pants in well-over 20 years, yet I compulsively pack extra underwear when I go on vacation. Truthfully, I'm not even sure what this would accomplish anyway.

I find it's easy to justify not giving money to homeless people once I remind myself that later this month I'll be making a payment toward a soft taco I ordered at 2 in the morning like, 6 months ago.

No matter how old I get, home in my contacts will always be my parents house number.

I have thoughts part 2

I got tickets to Phish at Cincy, this is exciting, as Ticketmaster may be quite possibly the worst corporation ever to be all corporationy. My third attempt at Phish tix this year was successful, as the first 2 were major fails.

When does it become unacceptable to run up stairs on all fours when you're in a hurry? Does anyone still do this when they're by themselves?

I think that one of the requirements for being a college basketball coach is the ability to spontaneously make yourself look like you just can't fucking believe it (gotta rep the Wildcats, I suppose).

I have thoughts part 1

How would we ever find out what our friends' kids were doing every hour on the hour if Facebook suddenly took away the status update option?

Do you think the makers of guitar hero and rockband instinctively knew that that douchey feeling you get when you play those cheap plastic instruments would go away based on alcohol consumption?